Someday
Inspired by the poems “Katy” by Frank O’Hara and "Someday I’ll Love Ocean Vuong” by (the remarkable) Ocean Vuong.
Someday, I’ll love what I had.
Someday, I’ll look in the mirror and say yes instead of oh god how can I mold this into something else.
Someday, I’ll love the sound of little boy voices mid-argument. But not today.
Someday, I’ll love having been exactly this capable of moving without pain because someday, that will no longer be true.
Someday, I’ll love the time I was sitting at my desk and the keys were clicking under my fingers. I will have forgotten how much it took to arrive there.
Someday, I’ll love the choices I made between the ages of seventeen and twenty one. But not today.
Someday, I’ll love how hard it all was.
Someday, I’ll love the midnight time soothing hunger or cold or monstrous dreams.
Someday, I’ll love the time I wasted being ready to serve others first.
Someday, I’ll love that death is coming for me.
Someday, I’ll love that I took a walk in the evening and came back carrying the decision to leave.
Someday, I’ll love that I can’t argue very well.
Someday, I’ll love that I escaped but then returned. Even if the returning was to a place of known difficulty.
Someday, I’ll love that I can’t say what I mean in the moment.
Someday, I’ll love that I tucked my hands under my legs and did not reach to fix the imperfection.
Someday, I’ll love that I didn’t believe I could do it until my time was almost over.
Someday, I’ll love the feet running on the wood floors in excited anticipation of what’s next.
Someday, I’ll love that I spent my time unwisely. But not today.
Someday, I’ll love that there are things I can’t do.
Inspired by events in the Uinta-Wasatch-Cache National Forest, Utah.
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